11/12/22
so you know how in greek mythology, the gods would deal out these insane punishments? i feel like im living through one of those punishments because this life is so fucking horrible.
i feel like im not really supposed to be here you know, like my punishment is just having to exist in this universe in this fucking world and im just
floating around like i have no true purpose. its not like any of us have a true purpose, but this feels different. im just floating,
tethered here by something and that is my punishment. its that i will not be able to actually have peace. i wont be able to exist the way i truly should. im just stuck here and its hell.

11/10/22
im not even fully done with this fucking website but im starting to realize how similar it is to sol pais'. god i really can never
be original. i really dont want to go back and change everything though so its just going to stay that way. i feel so bad all the time.
so many bad thoughts. its like i can only have bad thoughts. even when i should feel good and happy about something, i cant. everything i do and say and
think turns rotten and i always ruin everything for myself and others. i dont really care about ruining everything for
others but god its so pathetic. what kind of idiot cant go out and have even a little bit of fun. me, im the idiot.

3/1/23
jesus christ its been a while.
what do i even say? where do i even start? im still miserable. thats just something thats never going to change though.
im going to try to edit this site a little better at some point. yeah thats all i have to say for right now, idk. i might come back a little later.